Be a MAN! Not a Weenie!

I am on a roll, today. I have a rare bit of time and solitude since the kids have gone with my wife to town. I chose to stay home and piddle a little. So here’s the third in the series of posts for today. It is entirely different from the other two. It’s a very personal post about something that makes me crazy.

My wife likes to watch HGTV. I think it’s purt’near the most boring channel on TV besides the sports channels but she likes it. Sometimes when there’s no Law and Order on and nothing else noteworthy she’ll watch people get their houses redone or some such. Last night a couple had some guy redo their home. They’d been living in a house that was not finished. The fixer-upper guy did a nice job. It is a teeny bit interesting to learn of construction techniques since I dabble around the house so the show wasn’t too bad. Not until the scene when the couple came back home and saw the beautiful makeover. Then I wanted to barf. Why? The HUSBAND CRIED!

John Wayne really is dead, isn’t he?

Sure, I’m more old fashioned than manual typewriters. Still, the weenie world of men I am stuck in these days really makes me want to puke. John Wayne stoicism is over the top but good grief, when did it become acceptable for a guy to be so sissy that he cries over a redecorated room? I mean, come on, people!

I am not falling back on the absurd debate of whether or not God is “masculine” either. God is spirit. Spirit is NOT human. Humans have genitals. Spirit beings don’t. Duh. At least, everything we’ve ever learned about spirit beings indicate there’s no such thing as gender over there. Human writers give God and angels and devils gender. It’s convenient. And it’d be hard to get used to referring to God as “IT” rather than HE but the fact of the matter is that God defined himself in Jewish writing (and that’s where all good Christians get their stuff) as “I AM,” not “I AM HE.” So forget the “masculine” argument for God, I refuse to go there.

Where I am going is that as HUMANS we DO have gender. Our genders are different. Don’t go looking upon me as a male chauvinist, either. I believe in absolute equality of treatment no matter what gender (or anything else, for that matter). I have no qualms with a “woman president” or a woman boss. I’ve had a few of the latter, some of which were great and some that were horrible. Nevertheless, over the history of humanity there have been certain traits, abilities, and responsibilities that are not shared by both genders.

The law and society does, in deed, recognize differences and adjusts itself accordingly. Men can’t have babies so all the hooplah over abortions only apply to women. Many men are indeed chauvinists and unfairly mistreat women. When my wife and I dine out I am always, without exception, presented with the check. But I don’t ever pay it! Almost never. Of all the guys in the world to talk about being a girlyboy I’m one to talk. I’m the homemaker and kid-keeper and teacher of homeschool. My wife works. It’s humbling. It’s not humiliating. Why? Because there’s a difference between sharing responsibilities, working as a team, being practical and dealing with situations, being a “different” and non-traditional family and me surrendering my masculinity.

I am old fashioned enough to believe that God has established a hierarchy in the home. It is a functional hierarchy based upon the way men and women are made. Though quite a bit of what Paul the Apostle said is skewed and often misconstrued his explanation that Jesus is head of the Church as the man is head of the household is right on. God is not masculine in the human sense but he does present masculine traits. Jesus, too, was very masculine. He was loving, caring, sensitive, kind, forgiving. But he was not a pansy. Men these days too often throw away the whole idea of being masculine and chase their selfish drives and desires. Being sissy is trendy. God help us all!

In my household, I am the leader. It is an accepted fact. My wife does make the money, most of it, she does take care of our finances, and I interfere very little. Our finances are her responsibility because she wants it and it is not a hill worth dying on. In all other matters we talk, we discuss, but I decide. In matters of morality and faith sometimes my wife and I disagree. It is I who decides what the children are taught. Chauvinistic as this sounds, it isn’t. I am neither mean nor cruel nor domineering. There’s plenty of opportunities for discussion and input. But my wife respects my ability to make decisions and she respects my place in our home. I accept my responsibility with humility and with constant attention to all of my family, their needs and what is best for them, often at the expense of anything I might want. It is my responsibility to lead and my duty to love my family absolutely. These things I do to the best of my ability.

Screw political correctness. Some things men do these days is just wrong. It’s wrong for mankind, it’s wrong for manhood, and it’s disgusting to the few of us (if any besides myself are left) who believe there is a reason we men are what we are. It is important for men to be men. When men stop being men we have a big problem. And folks, we have a big problem.

Men these days whine about their graying hair or spend all kinds of dough to make themselves “bigger” or to be able to “last longer.” (Need I be more graphic?) They fret over their wardrobe. They act like, well, women. For some reason it’s perfectly OK for women to exhibit feminine traits—both good and bad—but men who “act like men” are condemned. Just for writing this little post I’ll be dismissed as a chauvinist. It’s PC gone crazy. It’s not who “wears the pants” but what’s beneath that should matter. No doubt some would say my wife “wears the pants” in my family. But it’s not jeans but genes that determine who is the leader in our home. This is as it should be.

One of my favorite movies is “Six Days and Seven Nights.” In it the man’s man gets stuck on an island with a feminist New York woman. They are pursued by modern day pirates. The guy starts to crack a bit, worried about t heir situation. The woman objects. He says, “I thought that’s what you women wanted these days, for us to be in tune with our feminine side?” She replied, “no, not when faced with pirates. Then we want them mean and armed!”

I’ve said it before, God is not stupid. Neither was Jesus nor Paul. Men are men because they have a duty within society. Women are women because they have a duty, too. There are always exceptions and contradictions but in general men and women are made differently, have different ways of doing things, and think differently. It is thus to maintain balance and help our species survive. Men are protectors. They’re built to be that. Women are caretakers. They’re built that way. Women might not want to have to squeeze emotion out of their guy. But when push comes to shove the proper order of protector and protected is clear.

Men who hide behind skirts in times of crises are still, fortunately, seen as the cowards they are. But men who choose to discard their masculine traits and act like weenies and sissies outside of a crisis are most likely to hand the girl the sword and run like hell when a crisis arises. It is himself he is thinking of. Selfishness is the antithesis of true manhood. God was a spirit but Jesus was a man when he walked among us. I don’t think anyone who has the slightest faith in Jesus at all will deny that. Had he abandoned his masculinity and been a coward we all really would be screwed.

I really appreciate the differences between men and women. I’m disgusted when someone tries to blur the lines or when some person has no respect for him or herself and their gender. I’m especially grossed out when men forget what it means to be a man.

Back to the HGTV show. There was a time when a guy who bawled like a baby over something so ridiculous as new furniture and wall covering would have been laughed off the stage and terribly ridiculed in public. Maybe that kind of treatment would not be fair but I still wanted the bawl-bag’s wife or somebody to walk up and say, “hey, pinhead, it’s just a room. Act like a man!”

I teach my son that he has a responsibility to be a guy. I do not teach him to be mean nor cruel. I am very affectionate in an appropriate way. My kids have seen me suffer heartache and physical pain and they’ve seen me cry. They’ve seen me cry just because I love them. It’s not the crying I object to, it’s the subject. A male who cries over a redecorated room is the ultimate betrayer of manhood. I believe this and if you don’t like it, too bad. Moreover, I don’t believe women want men to be a pansy. Emotional or honest or kind, sure, but not a wuss. After all, still in modern culture it’s the “men’s men” actors and politicians that attract the women, not the sniveling coward bawlbag weeniefied girly-man.

I will admit that there is within us all a bit of prejudice that we just can’t shake. The one little area where I have this attitude is with men who act like wusses. I can’t take guys who are cowards nor guys who throw bravado around to hide their insecurities. I can’t stand men who do not have the courage to admit they have weaknesses. Neither can I tolerate sissies and complainers, guys who fret over ridiculous things and whine like babies when they are the least bit injured. I am disgusted by men who color their hair, strut vainly in front of a crowd, inhale articles from GQ but are all jelly beneath the belly button. Glorying in war and battles and slapping each other around is a bit stupid and not what God expects of men. Real men are not the hot-headed brainless twits on wrestling shows. Real men are those who quietly go about their lives loving their family, protecting their nation, serving others and most of all taking a stand for righteousness when necessary.

Jesus said our duty is to love all people. I do, by choice. I would give my life and surrender all my things for any man, weenie or not. I cannot, however, give respect to any man who spits in the face of our Creator by disregarding everything he is and should be as a man.

I am a man of peace. I do not glorify war. I believe in absolute love from our Creator and for all others. But whatever else I am, I am a man. Men are given the role of being men because it fits with the natural structure of the universe. God made men men for a reason. Our nation is going to hell in a handbasket. Why? Because there are so few real men, selfless men, men of courage and conviction, men who will lead and will lead us to do the right thing rather than the expedient thing, the cowardly thing, or the profitable thing. I sit quietly and spend my days alone (except for my kids) because I have too often challenged men I knew to stop being chickens and stand up for what is right. I stood. The other men ran.

Our nation is suffering because men have stopped being men. Men have surrendered their responsibility and sank into a morass of self-indulgence, selfishness, and sissified conduct. Men in America are more worried about football scores or scoring in the bedroom than they are about how their nation scores in world opinion or the eyes of God. They want what they want. They no longer have the drive, the will, nor the masculinity to put aside personal wishes and desires so as to lead this nation as it should be led. Lord knows if our Founding Fathers had been the sissy cowards people in office today are (with few exceptions) we’d still be a bunch of British colonies.

Maybe I’m over reacting about the crying man on TV. After all, it’s just a show. Maybe to you. To me it represents how totally out of sync my thinking and America’s thinking really is. Viagra commercials, the smiling “Bob,” weenie-looking boys promoting a five-dollar razor, sissy cowboys singing about sexy tractors, “Hair Club for Men” advertisements, these disgust me. Life is not about sexual performance, gray hair, sexy tractors or over-priced gadgets that are smooth to one’s face. Get real, men. Life is about courage to do what is right, guts to stand up in the face of whatever comes, determination to serve God and love your family, perseverance to keep the faith and protect the weak at all costs. Be a man. Grow a skin. Do the right thing. And for heaven’t sake stop being a bawl-bag sissified wussie girly-man and don’t cry over a redecorated room or I’m never going to be able to hold down a good meal again!