This is crazy!

The whole country is fiddling while their home burns… much less Rome.

I’m writing from Whataburger using their free wifi.  why?  Because for the SECOND time in four days a main phone cable was stolen.  Not just cut but stolen.  A section of line was cut right next to one of the most major highway /loop intersections in the city at 5 AM.  How do I know when?  I was using it at the time.

The first theft was Sunday AM.  No phone and no cell modem since it was a main line to the closest cell tower, too.  Both times they stole a complete section between two poles.  The phone guy putting the new one up said it’d get them a good $500.  Save pennies, they may be worth something some day, as copper!

Just finished an article on Alternet about how the Pres is keeping soldiers in uniform indefinately.  DON’T SIGN UP, YOU’LL BE STUCK FOR LIFE!

Housing market horrible.  Jobs horrible.  Prices going up.

Is everybody in this entire country asleep?

Sad.

Absurdity and the Christian Religion

The Christian Religion is absurd.  Now I have offended everybody.  But wait!  I said “religion,” not Faith.  There’s nothing absurd in believing in Jesus whom many call The Christ.  In fact, I believe very strongly not only in the existence of Jesus but that he was the Son of God and that his mission on the earth was to teach humans how to live and to redeem humankind from a bad fate by some supernatural and mysterious means.  Faith in Jesus is great.  The Christian Religion is absurd.

For example: The Vatican has created new sins.  Poor sinners have even more “sins” to worry about.  Besides terrible Cardinal Sins and all the little sins we’ve been whacked about with over the centuries the Powers that Be in the Catholic Church has heaped a few more.  Darn shame we can’t by dispensations like folks used to be able to!  Oh, well, I couldn’t afford them anyway. 

Afraid of going to hell?  Then you better recycle!  Terrified of that fiery lake?  You better not be involved in cloning or any kind of medical research dealing with stem cells.  Want to keep your hide from the crisper?  Better fight to save the planet.  Since we don’t have a blue bin with that triangle on it I suppose we’re toast.

Give me a break.

“But I’m not a Catholic!!”  If you are a member of the Christian Religion I will disagree.  Your declaration is another reason the Christian Religion is absurd.  Every major denomination in America, save one or two, are branches off the same crooked tree that modern Catholicism comes from, a Blooming Contradiction of a tree planted by a Roman Emperor and watered by the blood of millions of people who fell at the feet of glory and power seeking church leaders.  If you don’t believe me, look it up.  Learn the history of YOUR denomination.

Most Protestants point back to the Reformation.  Guess what.  It wasn’t the doctrines of the church that Calvin and Luther objected to so much.  It was the practice.  There has not been anything “Christ-like” in any of the major denominations, left or right, since they were formed.  The structure, the attitudes, the power-seeking hierarchy exists everywhere, even in purportedly “independent” associations.  It’s there.  It’s just more subtle in some than others.

It doesn’t matter what the association or bishopric or head honcho’s are called.  ‘Doesn’t matter if they do not control activities of local congregations or regulate every single aspect of the local church.  They still dictate doctrine and beliefs.  They say what members of their church organization can officially believe.  They publish the literature.  They explain the practices.  They teach the sacraments and how sacraments are done.  And they define sin, whether it’s as obvious as the Vatican’s decree or the “suggestion” to be more ecco-friendly made by the Southern Baptist Convention.

The Christian Religion, like I said, is absurd.  It is absurd because it bases its rule-making on a collection of legal statutes that its penultimate leader, Jesus, cast aside.  Jesus threw out all the Old Testament and Jewish law and replaced it with two very simple, easy, and straightforward commandments which not a single Christian Religion (denomination) honors.  How absurd can one be if one ignores his spiritual leader and guide and instead decides to make up books of rules that contradicts what he taught?

When I was growing up I was always confused by the schizophrenic nature of my religious instruction.  I was taught that Jesus loved everybody, “red and yellow, black and white, they’re all precious in his sight.”  Right?  No.  Blacks were “N…” (that horrid word) and “knew their place.”  Jesus set us free, forgives us, but then if we don’t do every single thing right we’ll go to hell.  Are we forgiven or not?  Sunday school teacher said Jesus did away with the Jewish law but Reverend in the Pulpit preached about hell and pounded the podium as he quoted the same Old Testament that Jesus did away with.  Huh?

In fact all the “rules” I have ever been taught came from that book of rules Jesus treated with disdain and disrespect.  Even the “Pauline” rules have their roots in the Hebrew Scriptures which Paul knew extremely well and which he fought for before he was zapped on the road to Damascus. 

Jesus didn’t just NOT follow the law, he flaunted not following the law.  What he did would be tantamount to walking into one of the local holier-than-everybody-else congregations smoking a joint and escorting a couple of hookers.  Why did Jesus do such things?  Because HE said the Jewish Religion was absurd.  Since the Christian Religion is born of Judaism cum Christ, the Christian Religion is also absurd.

Christian Religionists will forever condemn people like me, and me especially.  I’m being rude, self-righteous, disrespectful, and I’m sending myself to hell.  They’ll think that.  They’re wrong.  I’m following in the footsteps of that Person whom I have absolute faith and belief in: Jesus.  I love him and his Father with all my heart.  I love all others.  I respect every individual who has touched the mind of God no matter what he calls himself.  But I can’t sit idly by and say nothing when so many people I really do care about are so bound up in absurd religious practice rather than enjoying the peace, love, and grace available to every human who recognizes the Truth of Jesus and the freedom he gives.

Hate me if you wish.  I love you so I just can’t keep my mouth shut.  I am not a Christian religionist.  I follow the teaching OF Jesus, not the religion about him.  I worship God in the name of Jesus, I do not bow to the Son and ignore what he and his Father said.  I obey his commandments as best I can.  Those commandments tell me to love God with all my heart and love others instead of myself.  I know that in following them all other rules are superfluous—they are not needed.  If I love others I will respect others and the home where they live.  That home is called Planet Earth.

What the Vatican and every other Christian Religious group SHOULD do is teach Jesus’ two commandments and practice them absolutely.  But that would mean a few—or a lot—less gilded cathedrals or massive sanctuaries, wouldn’t it?  Ahh, but I meddle so I shall rest my pen for now.

Mr. Stupid Comes to Town

OK, so I’m going to make Evangelicals more angry with me than I have already.  Of course if you’re an Evangelical and you’re living according to the teachings of the guy you’re supposed to be preaching about you won’t get angry but then how many Evangelicals do that?

News today: Huckabutt, aka, Huckabee, aka, Stupid, has floated the idea that he’s the one to lead the Evangelical Right.  If that’s not the most Evangelically WRONG idea I don’t know what is.

Check the news today.  It’s headlines.  Can I barf now?

I don’t like being unkind.  My heroes are Jesus and Buddha.  Neither of them would approve of this post.  I almost said, “I’m sorry,” but the truth is, I’m not.  I’m so agrivated with people who will so NOT use their brain for anything at all but chase the most rediculous people and follow the most rediculous ideas simply because it’s the “popular thing among Evangelicals” or your totally mis-informed pastor said so or some knucklehead talking HEAD on TV said so…. good grief, people are you  EVER going to wake up at all?

You have voted for idiots and brought this country to its knees.  Have you not NOTICED how screwed up this country is because YOU voted for BUSH?  Hello?

Today I am frustrated.  I have a problem with cowards and my son has not learned that, he did something very cowardly, so I’m a bit testy today.  You know what?  YOU are a coward if  you don’t have the guts to really LOOK at what these people are saying.  Chicken! Bock Bock!

Check down and see the post I made a while back called “Stupid.”  The man Huckabee has his head up his…. (expletive deleted) so far he can check the spots on his own liver.  I mean, come on, people.  Can’t you see that? How on God’s green earth could you follow such a person?

I am usually critical of nasty-mouthed name-calling bloggers who show no respect to anyone including themselves.  Really, it bothers me.  But dingidy dad-gummit, how wacked can some folks get?  I spent decades trying to get knucklehead Evangelical friends to get off their rear and get them to do stuff like they’re supposed to.  They were always afraid to walk the streets with tracts and preach but they could follow stupid talking heads around like …well, like sheep.  Baaaaaaah.  (Ask me why my car doesn’t grace the parking lot of that Mega-pseudoChurch any longer.”  From Pat Robertskunk to James Dobsnot  to  Huckaboob, have you no shame?  If you’re going to pick a leader pick one with brains, will ya?  Pick one that cares about making real a difference, one that will lead you to truth and will teach you how to be humble.  Find one that does not love his gold watch and cadilac!

OK, so, headline in the Washington Times: “Huckabee at forefront of evangelical revival.”  What Revival?  …I go on…

Quote: “He has become the leader of a new generation of Christian conservative voters,” said Rex Nelson, who was communications director when Mr. Huckabee was Arkansas’ governor. “The old leadership has either passed on in the case of [the Rev. Jerry] Falwell or become either irrelevant or out of touch — the Pat Robertson endorsement of Rudy Giuliani proves that.”  And Huckabumble ISN’T out of touch?

Next  Quote: “There is nobody else you can identify outside of Mike Huckabee as a leading person to take on that role, really in a new era where evangelicals care about a lot of things like the environment and working with the poor,” Mr. Nelson said.  Oh, yeah, Evangelicals care about the environment and the poor.   I see all those tiny, efficient cars in the parking lots of our local Super Churches, don’t I?  I bet all of those buildings have those cute little florescent bulbs in them.  And none of those glaring electrical vacuums called spot lights are turned on towards the pulpit, especially since the pastor is wearing K-mart Suits and a General Dollar watch and twelve-dollar loafers from Wallyworld?  Uh, huh.

Not.  How many of those Cadilac Escilades are parked over in poor town full of grits and gravy after church?  No, they’re down on the South Side (in Lufkin, at least) at upscale eating places.  And don’t you ask what I’ve been doing, either.  I’m not the ones out there claiming I’m “giving it all for Jeeeeesus.”  (Sorry, Lord, I should not have been sarcastic with your name.)

Another quote: “We are running one of the most cost-effective political campaigns in modern American history, chiefly because of the governor’s ability to communicate and the campaign’s ability to excel on the earned media front,” said Kirsten Fedewa, who has contributed to Mr. Huckabee’s media strategy for years.   (emphasis mine)  Want to know who the greatest human communicator was that ever walked this earth?  A man who lead millions?  A man who persuaded hundreds of thousands to do his bidding?  Guess again.  His name was Adolf Hitler.

Is Huckabiddybiddy Hitler?  No.  But he certainly doesn’t deserve to be followed because he gave a good speech.  I had a pastor once who could make people cry.  He was very good at preaching against “sexual sin.”  At least he was until he knocked up a member and destroyed his family and his church in one little poke. (pun intended!)  Stop listening to talking heads and stupid fools (OK, I know the warning but I can’t think of a better word).  Use your HEAD and look into your own HEART and figure IT out!

I am a (usually) dedicated traditional Unitarian.  I follow the teachings OF Jesus, not the junk people say about him.  Go back to the Gospels, people, and read them for yourself.  See if you match up.   Are you living selflessly?  Are you hoarding riches?  (This means living in big houses, wearing rollex watches, sitting in front of your HD-DVD Five-thousand-dollar big screen, and driving SUV’s, by the way.)

If you claim Huckabiddle as your political leader then you are terribly misguided and extremely politically naieve.  But if you claim him as your SPIRITUAL leader then you’re so far from what Jesus taught then there’s only one interjection I can think of: WOE!  Well, there is another but I’ll save it.

I feel better now.  And you’re mad at me!  What else is new?

Ted.

Yesterday

A few days ago my kids and I made a trip to Benton, Arkansas to take my mom to visit her sister. The whole trip was for my mom. She got to spend time with her ailing sister while the kids and I plundered around Little Rock for a while. We visited the Clinton Library gift shop. It was cheaper than visiting the library itself. We drove by the library. Impressive in a strange sort of way. We drove around downtown Little Rock but I wasn’t impressed about that at all.

Later on we ate at Cracker Barrel (I had Chicken ‘n Dumplings, turnip greens and pinto’s. Yum!). Then we headed for the motel and tried to rest on the cement blocks Motel 6 uses for beds. Next day we picked mom up, said goodbye to my aunt, and drove down through Murfreesboro. This part of the trip was my idea.

My mom and dad grew up in Murfreesboro. When I was a kid we’d burn the roads up driving there weekend after weekend. I spent time with aunts and uncles and my grandma (my dad’s mother) in the summer. Those were the days.

Life was so much simpler then. The only bad memories of those times were the fussy nature of my grandma when I stayed for a week once and the day I jumped into a puddle of chicken poop with both feet. I was trying to get past it. I fell short! That was NOT a good day. I was around my son’s age then (he’s 8). I remember bawling like a baby while my big brother lifted me from the puddle and washed my shoes off in some water running through a nearby ditch. I refused to ever wear those brand-new tennis shoes ever again!

On this trip we made the rounds again. We went to the cemeteries where my grandparents, three of which I never knew, are buried. We drove by the “old place” where my mom grew up, just a stone’s throw from the chicken house where I made my leap into (instead of over) the chicken poop. We drove out to Narrows Dam and Lake Greason where my uncle worked for decades and where my family and I spent many a day fishing and swimming. We drove down the main drag to the square. It hasn’t changed much.

The old general store still has the same name on front and looks exactly like it did when I was a kid. The courthouse looks the same although its insides have been rebuilt. A cousin of mine works there as the county clerk. Said a “howdy” to her, first time to see her in decades. We didn’t have time to go to the Diamond Mine or the Caddo Village Burial Mound, quasi-famous local attractions I remember visiting as a kid.

The Dairy Dip is gone now. No more ice-cream cones for Grandma. The old store across the street from the old Murfreesboro Drugs is boarded up as is the old drug store. No more Pink Thing Popsicles.

We ate at a Mexican restaurant in a former Dairy Queen at The Curve where “The Curve” grocery, ice house and restaurant used to sit. Some things have changed. My kids bought bubble gum at Hawkins very similar to what I used to buy there. Except they gave thirty cents for a couple pieces that would have cost me two cents.

It was nice to drive past the old places and remember good times. The saddest stop was in front of my uncle’s house, sitting empty and almost haunting, across from the lot where my grandma’s house once stood. Uncle Jim and Aunt Noby are gone now, for several years, but the house sits as it did the last time I saw it over ten years ago, as it has since I was a boy. The camper trailer they used to leave at the lake for weeks to stay in while they were fishing is still siting in the shed built for it out back. Sad.

I rarely visit Arkansas and will probably never go back to Murfreesboro. I won’t because although the memories are a nice if melancholy experience the place and the people are so foreign to my way of life and thinking that I am closer to Martians than I am all those relatives up there. And I must confess that I don’t really like them very much.

One cousin (on my dad’s side) came to watch my dad die but didn’t stay for the funeral. Another cousin on my mom’s side took a pee in my yard and made fun of my home-built cabin when he came for dad’s funeral. Every relative I’ve ever known up there uses the “N” word to refer to African Americans even as they exemplify the most absurd of religious fundamentalist attitudes. I don’t know how they think and I don’t want to know. They represent exactly what the Buddha meant by ignorance and self-delusion.

I was innocent back then. I’m not now. I cannot any longer tolerate anyone who views another human being as inferior for any reason, especially because of skin color or national origin. I never noticed the prolific use of the “N” word and even used it myself then. Now I cringe with each mention of the word. My eyes are wide open. Theirs are squeezed shut.

I say a prayer of thanks that my dad moved the family far away from there before I was born. This town in which I live isn’t much better, though. I thank God that I have learned how to look beyond the ugly nature of selfish people and discover the truth of selflessness and kindness and the joy of freedom. I’m happy with the understanding of what Jesus really said.

It is distressing to me that so many people live an die in such a closed-minded way. It’s even sadder that they are beyond reach, living in their cloistered hillbilly world, completely enclosed and totally unwilling to consider or even listen to ideas foreign to their own. No doubt if they heard me use Jesus and Buddha in the same sentence, as I often do, they would think I am crazy.

But then there are times that although I shudder to think I could have been one of them I still envy their simple lives and the small world where they feel very safe. Whether they are a bit rebellious or strictly religious the old hymns of my youth define them: “Shall We Gather at the River,” “Jesus Saves,” “Amazing Grace,” “In the Sweet By and By.” Simple, beautiful, misleading, but still a solid foundation for them. It is I, not they, who looks to the heavens and ask questions. I would like to crack their heads open (metaphorically, of course) and pour in some common sense but they merely glance at me, maybe recognize an old relative (or not), quickly dismiss me as one of those strange people from the outside world, and give me not another thought.

No, I do not want to live in their simple world. I like complicated. So I drive down the old street one last time, remembering a simpler yesterday. I remember my dad, a man who lived in their world, not mine. I visit my brother who has one foot in each world and struggles with both. How strange, this thing we call life. How strange the universe.

Murfreesboro is an anachronism. It’s living history. It’s a foreign land I shall not ever visit again. It’s my past but not my future. “What dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil,” Hamlet muttered, “must give us pause.” Indeed. For all my enlightened knowledge and understanding it’s most likely that they, those strange beings from my past, will have the last laugh. It is likely they and I will meet again as we all cue up to enter that distant land they sing about and I make the object of speculation.

They will probably be as surprised as I will to see them. Could be. I hope so. It’d be nice to finally breech the wall of culture that has separated us and prevents us from knowing each other and discovering the beauty of kinship we can’t seem to find over here. Dad’s there with them now. Maybe on that day I can return to my youth and go with Dad and Uncle Jim over to that river they sing about and reminisce about the days we all cared more about fishin’ than we did about the way of the world.

Well, probably not but it sure is a nice idea.

Be a MAN! Not a Weenie!

I am on a roll, today. I have a rare bit of time and solitude since the kids have gone with my wife to town. I chose to stay home and piddle a little. So here’s the third in the series of posts for today. It is entirely different from the other two. It’s a very personal post about something that makes me crazy.

My wife likes to watch HGTV. I think it’s purt’near the most boring channel on TV besides the sports channels but she likes it. Sometimes when there’s no Law and Order on and nothing else noteworthy she’ll watch people get their houses redone or some such. Last night a couple had some guy redo their home. They’d been living in a house that was not finished. The fixer-upper guy did a nice job. It is a teeny bit interesting to learn of construction techniques since I dabble around the house so the show wasn’t too bad. Not until the scene when the couple came back home and saw the beautiful makeover. Then I wanted to barf. Why? The HUSBAND CRIED!

John Wayne really is dead, isn’t he?

Sure, I’m more old fashioned than manual typewriters. Still, the weenie world of men I am stuck in these days really makes me want to puke. John Wayne stoicism is over the top but good grief, when did it become acceptable for a guy to be so sissy that he cries over a redecorated room? I mean, come on, people!

I am not falling back on the absurd debate of whether or not God is “masculine” either. God is spirit. Spirit is NOT human. Humans have genitals. Spirit beings don’t. Duh. At least, everything we’ve ever learned about spirit beings indicate there’s no such thing as gender over there. Human writers give God and angels and devils gender. It’s convenient. And it’d be hard to get used to referring to God as “IT” rather than HE but the fact of the matter is that God defined himself in Jewish writing (and that’s where all good Christians get their stuff) as “I AM,” not “I AM HE.” So forget the “masculine” argument for God, I refuse to go there.

Where I am going is that as HUMANS we DO have gender. Our genders are different. Don’t go looking upon me as a male chauvinist, either. I believe in absolute equality of treatment no matter what gender (or anything else, for that matter). I have no qualms with a “woman president” or a woman boss. I’ve had a few of the latter, some of which were great and some that were horrible. Nevertheless, over the history of humanity there have been certain traits, abilities, and responsibilities that are not shared by both genders.

The law and society does, in deed, recognize differences and adjusts itself accordingly. Men can’t have babies so all the hooplah over abortions only apply to women. Many men are indeed chauvinists and unfairly mistreat women. When my wife and I dine out I am always, without exception, presented with the check. But I don’t ever pay it! Almost never. Of all the guys in the world to talk about being a girlyboy I’m one to talk. I’m the homemaker and kid-keeper and teacher of homeschool. My wife works. It’s humbling. It’s not humiliating. Why? Because there’s a difference between sharing responsibilities, working as a team, being practical and dealing with situations, being a “different” and non-traditional family and me surrendering my masculinity.

I am old fashioned enough to believe that God has established a hierarchy in the home. It is a functional hierarchy based upon the way men and women are made. Though quite a bit of what Paul the Apostle said is skewed and often misconstrued his explanation that Jesus is head of the Church as the man is head of the household is right on. God is not masculine in the human sense but he does present masculine traits. Jesus, too, was very masculine. He was loving, caring, sensitive, kind, forgiving. But he was not a pansy. Men these days too often throw away the whole idea of being masculine and chase their selfish drives and desires. Being sissy is trendy. God help us all!

In my household, I am the leader. It is an accepted fact. My wife does make the money, most of it, she does take care of our finances, and I interfere very little. Our finances are her responsibility because she wants it and it is not a hill worth dying on. In all other matters we talk, we discuss, but I decide. In matters of morality and faith sometimes my wife and I disagree. It is I who decides what the children are taught. Chauvinistic as this sounds, it isn’t. I am neither mean nor cruel nor domineering. There’s plenty of opportunities for discussion and input. But my wife respects my ability to make decisions and she respects my place in our home. I accept my responsibility with humility and with constant attention to all of my family, their needs and what is best for them, often at the expense of anything I might want. It is my responsibility to lead and my duty to love my family absolutely. These things I do to the best of my ability.

Screw political correctness. Some things men do these days is just wrong. It’s wrong for mankind, it’s wrong for manhood, and it’s disgusting to the few of us (if any besides myself are left) who believe there is a reason we men are what we are. It is important for men to be men. When men stop being men we have a big problem. And folks, we have a big problem.

Men these days whine about their graying hair or spend all kinds of dough to make themselves “bigger” or to be able to “last longer.” (Need I be more graphic?) They fret over their wardrobe. They act like, well, women. For some reason it’s perfectly OK for women to exhibit feminine traits—both good and bad—but men who “act like men” are condemned. Just for writing this little post I’ll be dismissed as a chauvinist. It’s PC gone crazy. It’s not who “wears the pants” but what’s beneath that should matter. No doubt some would say my wife “wears the pants” in my family. But it’s not jeans but genes that determine who is the leader in our home. This is as it should be.

One of my favorite movies is “Six Days and Seven Nights.” In it the man’s man gets stuck on an island with a feminist New York woman. They are pursued by modern day pirates. The guy starts to crack a bit, worried about t heir situation. The woman objects. He says, “I thought that’s what you women wanted these days, for us to be in tune with our feminine side?” She replied, “no, not when faced with pirates. Then we want them mean and armed!”

I’ve said it before, God is not stupid. Neither was Jesus nor Paul. Men are men because they have a duty within society. Women are women because they have a duty, too. There are always exceptions and contradictions but in general men and women are made differently, have different ways of doing things, and think differently. It is thus to maintain balance and help our species survive. Men are protectors. They’re built to be that. Women are caretakers. They’re built that way. Women might not want to have to squeeze emotion out of their guy. But when push comes to shove the proper order of protector and protected is clear.

Men who hide behind skirts in times of crises are still, fortunately, seen as the cowards they are. But men who choose to discard their masculine traits and act like weenies and sissies outside of a crisis are most likely to hand the girl the sword and run like hell when a crisis arises. It is himself he is thinking of. Selfishness is the antithesis of true manhood. God was a spirit but Jesus was a man when he walked among us. I don’t think anyone who has the slightest faith in Jesus at all will deny that. Had he abandoned his masculinity and been a coward we all really would be screwed.

I really appreciate the differences between men and women. I’m disgusted when someone tries to blur the lines or when some person has no respect for him or herself and their gender. I’m especially grossed out when men forget what it means to be a man.

Back to the HGTV show. There was a time when a guy who bawled like a baby over something so ridiculous as new furniture and wall covering would have been laughed off the stage and terribly ridiculed in public. Maybe that kind of treatment would not be fair but I still wanted the bawl-bag’s wife or somebody to walk up and say, “hey, pinhead, it’s just a room. Act like a man!”

I teach my son that he has a responsibility to be a guy. I do not teach him to be mean nor cruel. I am very affectionate in an appropriate way. My kids have seen me suffer heartache and physical pain and they’ve seen me cry. They’ve seen me cry just because I love them. It’s not the crying I object to, it’s the subject. A male who cries over a redecorated room is the ultimate betrayer of manhood. I believe this and if you don’t like it, too bad. Moreover, I don’t believe women want men to be a pansy. Emotional or honest or kind, sure, but not a wuss. After all, still in modern culture it’s the “men’s men” actors and politicians that attract the women, not the sniveling coward bawlbag weeniefied girly-man.

I will admit that there is within us all a bit of prejudice that we just can’t shake. The one little area where I have this attitude is with men who act like wusses. I can’t take guys who are cowards nor guys who throw bravado around to hide their insecurities. I can’t stand men who do not have the courage to admit they have weaknesses. Neither can I tolerate sissies and complainers, guys who fret over ridiculous things and whine like babies when they are the least bit injured. I am disgusted by men who color their hair, strut vainly in front of a crowd, inhale articles from GQ but are all jelly beneath the belly button. Glorying in war and battles and slapping each other around is a bit stupid and not what God expects of men. Real men are not the hot-headed brainless twits on wrestling shows. Real men are those who quietly go about their lives loving their family, protecting their nation, serving others and most of all taking a stand for righteousness when necessary.

Jesus said our duty is to love all people. I do, by choice. I would give my life and surrender all my things for any man, weenie or not. I cannot, however, give respect to any man who spits in the face of our Creator by disregarding everything he is and should be as a man.

I am a man of peace. I do not glorify war. I believe in absolute love from our Creator and for all others. But whatever else I am, I am a man. Men are given the role of being men because it fits with the natural structure of the universe. God made men men for a reason. Our nation is going to hell in a handbasket. Why? Because there are so few real men, selfless men, men of courage and conviction, men who will lead and will lead us to do the right thing rather than the expedient thing, the cowardly thing, or the profitable thing. I sit quietly and spend my days alone (except for my kids) because I have too often challenged men I knew to stop being chickens and stand up for what is right. I stood. The other men ran.

Our nation is suffering because men have stopped being men. Men have surrendered their responsibility and sank into a morass of self-indulgence, selfishness, and sissified conduct. Men in America are more worried about football scores or scoring in the bedroom than they are about how their nation scores in world opinion or the eyes of God. They want what they want. They no longer have the drive, the will, nor the masculinity to put aside personal wishes and desires so as to lead this nation as it should be led. Lord knows if our Founding Fathers had been the sissy cowards people in office today are (with few exceptions) we’d still be a bunch of British colonies.

Maybe I’m over reacting about the crying man on TV. After all, it’s just a show. Maybe to you. To me it represents how totally out of sync my thinking and America’s thinking really is. Viagra commercials, the smiling “Bob,” weenie-looking boys promoting a five-dollar razor, sissy cowboys singing about sexy tractors, “Hair Club for Men” advertisements, these disgust me. Life is not about sexual performance, gray hair, sexy tractors or over-priced gadgets that are smooth to one’s face. Get real, men. Life is about courage to do what is right, guts to stand up in the face of whatever comes, determination to serve God and love your family, perseverance to keep the faith and protect the weak at all costs. Be a man. Grow a skin. Do the right thing. And for heaven’t sake stop being a bawl-bag sissified wussie girly-man and don’t cry over a redecorated room or I’m never going to be able to hold down a good meal again!

Maybe I am stupid.

Maybe I am stupid.

I have a problem with overthinking. Not with doing it but with others who do it. (see previous post “Shut up and listen.”) I’m stupid. Or maybe stubborn. Or maybe I’m too busy to spend countless hours sinking in a morass of theology. Probably I’m just lazy. It is true that I consider myself a “thinker” but I still want something simple and straight-forward to live by. Religious people everywhere make their religion or faith so complicated and convoluted nobody understands any of it. Religionists of all ilks overthink the subject and then demand “followers” just follow without thinking.

But thinking is what I do. I just can’t “follow.” When I look at theology from any angle I always see flaws in the theologian’s logic. Always. Theologians are horribly adept at overthinking. It clouds their judgment and screws up their conclusions. It’s just so obvious to me. I am not one of those who believe the human race is, as a rule, merely sheep. I believe sheepness (is that a word?) in humans is a choice, not a genetic trait. It’s a choice of convenience. It’s a choice most people make because idiot religious people over complicate every aspect of faith and religion and then through fear and/or intimidation and/or manipulation convince others that theirs is the only true path and not to follow it will spell their doom.

People have choices. A lot of people just don’t make them. First, they have to accept or reject the great learnedness (is that a word too?) of overthinkers. When a person has been raised in a culture that says particular overthinkers are God Inspired it’s hard to easily dismiss their words. So, somewhat forced by their culture to accept the God Inpiredness of Great and Wise overthinkers that dominate their culture they are then confronted with the overthinkers’ words. But the words are confusing, accusatory, sometimes frightening. Often hard to understand. Overthinkers write book after book. Ordinary folk write little more than a few letters during their lifetime. They’re too busy living life. No time to analyze it.

They (those called sheep by the cynical overthinkers) pick up on the simple stuff and incorporate it into their lives and hope that’s enough. Such is the greatest tragedy of American Evangelical Christianity. Evangelical Overthinkers blather away with book after book that flies over the head of most church people but they always boil their words down to a few pat phrases. “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and Thou Shalt Be Saved.” (Hear those words echo off the cathedral ceiling?) This phrase never has been sufficient but it works to help people define themselves as Christians. “I believe.” It becomes the hook that Evangelical overthinkers use to reel in assorted evangelical “sheep” to their own way of doing things.

Using books, tapes, seminars, websites, sermons and etc., Evangelical overthinkers “reach out” to “believers” and convince them of all kinds of ridiculous ideas. People let themselves be indoctrinated in overthink because it is easier than taking the time to consider the words logically. The overthinkers always say they know best, they know the right thing, they say “listen to me” and “God told me to say this” and “one dark stormy night Jesus came to me” and/or “the Bible says…..” Bunk. Most of it is bunk. But since people choose not to think or don’t have time or are afraid that their brain is not as big as those overthinker brains they must take the Great Evangelical overthinker’s words. Sad. Very sad.

The truth is that the most common phrase among overthinkers, “the Bible says,” is the least reliable and almost never true. It’s least reliable because “The Bible” rarely does say what they claim it says and almost without exception the phrases gleaned from Biblical verses are taken entirely out of context.

An aside: I am not saying the Bible is unreliable or that it is not worthy of great respect, admiration, or even reverence in some way. The Bible is a great resource. But it is not God and it did not fall from the sky intact like Evangelicals imply it did. They will never, ever tell you the truth about the Bible itself. But the Bible isn’t the object of this lesson, overthinking on its contents is.

Evangelical overthinkers rarely use the Bible as their only source. They go right to the Spirit. They claim God told them, they were inspired, the Spirit moved on them. How can one argue with that? Well, I can, but then I’m stubborn. I’m a Thomas. I think a spirit might have moved on them but the spirit that did does not deserve a capitol “s.” Unlike most who suck up the words of overthinkers as if they’re gospel I refuse to accept their words without corroboration from other sources. I’m just stubborn that way. Or stupid?

But I have begun to overthink myself, haven’t I? The point of this ramble is that I don’t want to have to analyze religion or learn a book from cover to cover or keep abreast of every new idea in Christian Overthink or even memorize the Bible from Genesis to Revelations just to know how I should live. I don’t want to be stuck with pat phrases like “just believe” either. I don’t want to know WHAT to do, I want to know HOW and WHY. Overthinkers fill up bookshelves with explanations. I don’t want bookshelves. I want a one-page brochure.

Of course there’s no way to make a fine living by publishing a single page. Books make money. The greater the Overthinker the more money he makes from books, tapes, CD’s, DVD’s, and all that stuff. The Bible might be given away freely by some but all the volumes that tell people how to “interpret” it cost a fortune. One must pay nineteen-ninety-five for a hard-bound volume (usually several to choose from) conveniently available on a table outside the auditorium where the Great Overthinker is speaking and earning considerably more than twenty bucks for the effort. If I sound cynical it’s only because I am.

Cloistered monks wrote volumes few ever read and lived in poverty because they didn’t have the option of dropping their manuscript onto the desk of a mega-publisher who spends mega-bucks marketing mega-bull. Evangelical Overthinkers, however, are not monks. They don’t hide their words under a bushel. Not at all, they market them to death. Here I sit at a home-made computer desk tapping away in the backwoods doing much the same as the monks. My words are not colored by my self-righteousness nor published in high-dollar volumes so I can feed my greed. These are unkind words. Hey, I call’s them like I see’s them. But I digress.

I want something simple. There is no doubt that this universe is a complicated place. It’s confusing. It’s contradictory. There’s no way we can ever know or understand it all or even very much of it while we live in this finite existence. Some, like me, will forever wonder about it, study it, try to figure things out. Most people, though, don’t have the time nor the desire. They, more than I, want something simple. But they want something that makes sense and is practical in the real world. They don’t want pat phrases and absurd statements that are obviously not true. In a world where everything is extremely complicated they, and I, want simple. Give me simple!

Jesus saves. Sounds good but what does it mean? God loves me. Sounds good but what does it mean? God always answers prayer. Sounds good but in my experience it is not true. Jesus died for our sins and those who accept him shall be saved. I keep hearing that but what is “sins” and what does it mean by “accept?” And what about people who live lives that are better, more moral, more righteous than any Christian but who have not heard of Jesus or who are of another religion? Evangelical Overthinkers say simple minded things but the slightest bit of analysis will reveal that their simplistic statements don’t make sense and often don’t hold water.

What happens if we recognize the fallacy of their words? They tell us not to question. They tell us the “sin” is questioning. Since most don’t have the time, the training, or the courage to contradict the Great Overthinkers they just go along, bang their head on the proverbial wall a bit when confronted with a contradiction, and struggle. Some just toss the baby and the bath water out the window. They reject Jesus instead of rejecting the Talking Head Overthinkers who are telling them ridiculous stuff. This is the saddest thing of all.

I want simple. There is simple. Of course, it won’t make anybody a fortune. I’ll give it to you. The Simple Way, in the words of one of the few learned overthinkers in the past that I admire (Charles Finney), is “the Law of Benevolence.” Finney was a thinker. It was his curse. He managed to crawl out of his Calvinistic theology long enough to recognize that Jesus gave us the way to live in the simplest of terms. Jesus said, “Love God with all your heart/mind/soul, and love others instead of yourself.” Do that and you will, by default, live precisely as God intends for you to live. Period.

One point. Bible translations interpret the word between “others” and “of yourself” to be “as.” I believe and some translations of the Greek word will agree that the word should be “instead of.” “As” means an equal measure. “Instead of” is far more in alignment with the way Jesus taught and lived. But this is a bit of my own overthinking so I move on.

Think about it. If we love God with our whole heart we will not ever do anything we know he is unlikely to disapprove of. We won’t do it not because the doing of a thing is a “sin” but because we do not want to hurt or offend. Likewise, if we love others above and beyond or “instead of” ourselves we will never mistreat, lie to, or disrespect others not because hurting, lying or disrespecting are “sins” but because we care about the other one and choose not to do them harm. Simple. Effective. Functional.

The Law of Benevolence, or Law of Love if you please, makes everything clear. Jesus gave himself for us. He said he did, we accept his word because we love him as we do every other person. And we love him as God’s son. We accept not out of fear that denying will send us to hell but because we love and believe him. It does not matter if it seems to us God does not answer every prayer. In fact, most prayers are prayed for selfish reasons and God has good reasons to keep silent. If we’re living according to the two commandments of Love God and Love others we will not even ask for selfish stuff. I could go on but you get the point.

So maybe I am stupid. I’m just stupid enough to believe that Jesus’ words mean more in all their simplicity than anything any Talking Head Wise and Wonderful Overthinker could ever write in their many over-priced hard-back books. I’m stupid enough to believe God does love me but not really worry about that because I love God. I’m stupid enough to believe that in loving others I will fulfill “the law and the prophets” in spite of the fact that there’s not a Jewish gene in my body. I’m stupid enough to make the choice of placing myself last and others first. I just take Jesus at his word. Stupid, huh?

Shut up and listen!

OK, so maybe that was just a little rude. But it was necessary.

Know the difference between a Buddhist and an Evangelical Christian?

Buddhists know they don’t know so they seek. Evangelical Christians think they know everything so they preach.

By that definition I am far, far more Buddhist than I am Christian.

I have not returned to this blog (I still hate that word!) of late because I have been working on our homeschool effort. It is a real challenge and very time consuming to develop a school program for three kids, one that will speak to all of them and help them understand each subject. But that’s not the subject today, so I go on (as opposed to shutting up myself!).

Shut up and listen!

That’s what I have to say quite often to my boy. He is my pride and joy, a brilliant just-turned-eight year old whose brain runs faster than mine. He’s always thinking. He’s always talking. His problem–like mine sometimes–is that he doesn’t stop long enough to listen. In order to get his thinker in tuned with the thought at hand I have to cut it off and re-direct it sometimes.

I used to be just like him. I still am, too, on occasion. I have learned, however, that listening and learning is far more conducive to understanding than constantly talking. Maybe you need to learn the same thing.

My return to blabber-blog on this beautiful Sunday morning was spurred on by conversations with a friend via email and an introduction to a movement I somehow missed. Living in the backwoods is a bit isolating. The movement, called Emergent or Emerging, is encouraging. But there I find a lot of overthink.

Definition:

overthink noun. 1. Thinking more than necessary. 2. Attempting to discover the unknown merely by stressing out one’s brain. 3. Exercising one’s limited human faculties in a vain attempt to understand the nature of God and the Universe. 4. Putting too much effort in analysis of flawed or incomplete data and drawing erroneous, unsubstantiated or unreliable conclusions from said data.

Shut up and listen.

Evangelicalism and Buddhism are at the opposite ends of the intellectual spectrum. I was born an Evangelical. But I was born retarded. I had a brain defect. I was born a thinker. And a doubter. Maybe Thomas is a distant relative of mine. Or Socrates. There is one word in the English language I never could unlearn even though it is the nastiest and ugliest word in Evangelical circles. That word is why.

Evangelical theology says there ARE reasons but follows that up with the phrase “God’s ways are not our ways.” I will completely agree with the phrase but absolutely and vehemently disagree with the way it is used. God’s “ways” may not be our ways but God is not stupid and neither am I. One thing I’ve said for decades, long before my thinking drug me out of Evangelical circles, was that if God didn’t want us to think he should not have given us a brain.

That does not mean we CAN figure out the meaning of the universe. It isn’t that God’s ways are not our ways but that God’s ways are above our ways. To be honest I am not happy that God has not given us more insight than he has but I must assume there is a purpose. In private and to myself and even to others I might speculate what the purpose is but I will not ever presume to know absolutely what that purpose is. I can never, ever be so convinced as Evangelical (or many other) theologians. That would be overthinking.

Buddhists are taught and firmly believe that they are not “enlightened.” They don’t know diddle and they know it. Buddha had to search for a lifetime and though he reached “enlightenment” he still never professed to knowing everything. The enlightenment he claimed wasn’t one of explanation, it was one of direction.

Isn’t it ironic that Jesus said much the same thing as Buddha. Christians always freak when they hear such a statement but it is true. Jesus said to seek and you’d find, knock and the door would be opened, ask and you would receive. “But Ted, he meant blessings….” No he didn’t. Stop being so selfish and so naive. And stop taking Jesus’ words out of context. Jesus would never tell people to ask for “things” or “blessings” because his entire life and ministry and message taught against such selfishness and self-indulgence. He meant to ask, seek, knock for TRUTH. Duh. He said, more or less, “shut up and listen.”

I have to admit that I have been remiss in meditation for quite some time but meditating is a far more effective tool to discover God than sitting in a pew listening to some self-convinced religious person try to convince everyone of something he’s not so convinced of himself. Trust me, I’ve been on the “inside” of church ministries enough to know that the people on the podium are not saints.

Shut up and listen.

I keep saying that, don’t I? I say it to myself, too. Shut up and listen to others. Shut up and listen to your heart. Shut up and listen to the words of Jesus. Shut up and listen to the Spirit who is a very still and very small voice in a very loud universe. It doesn’t matter as much if you listen to me but you might be inspired to learn something if you do. Not because I’m a sage or prophet but because I have begun to shut up and listen myself and I really, really wish you would try it.

Stop listening to the Talking Heads of the Christian Right and listen to the words of Jesus. Stop listening to your gut and start listening to your heart. Stop listening to theological speeches. Stop thinking you know it all. In fact, stop thinking. (That’s the hardest thing for me to do!) Start listening. Go out in the woods, sit under a tree, and do what Jesus said to do, ask, seek, knock. Hang there long enough and you might just discover something worth talking about.

When you do get a bit of insight come on back and tell me to shut up. I will listen. None of us will ever figure out everything but together we might be able to clue in on the true message of Jesus and figure out not so much what “it” is all about but what we’re supposed to do about “it.”

Stupid.

I know, it’s rude to call anyone stupid.  But this year’s presidential race is totally full of stupid.  That’s why you should vote for me.  I may not be Mr. Personality or known by all or have any experience running a country or whatever but at least I have half a brain and I am NOT stupid.

The non-stupid part of this race is the bickering and ugliness going on in the Democratic primary.  Racial jokes, taking sides because of color, rude and nasty and selfish and self-serving… all the above, but not very much Stupid.  It’s shameful how uncivil the race has become since the nice guy (Bill Richardson) left the race.  Come back Bill, please!  Please! Please!  Rescue us from the smug Obama, self-serving Hillary and the mean-spirited Edwards!

OK, on to Mr. Stupid, aka, Huckabee.  I read many comments on the net that are nasty, vulgar, ugly, judgmental. I do not like that kind of posting and I hesitate to be unkind but dammit that Baptist drives me up the wall.

I was raised in the culture from whence he came.  I was raised East Texas Baptist.  Like the old cliché says, there are many good people in the Baptist church. Nevertheless I know how stubborn, prejudiced, self-righteous and bigoted people from this culture can be.  I was raised in a culture that used the “N” word to reference African-Americans, that saw all other races as inferior, that spoke of “people” being in their “place.”  I cannot speak specifically about Huckabee’s true attitude, I do not know him, but frankly I really doubt he has completely dumped the racism of this culture.  He’s just done what many have learned to do here: keep one’s mouth shut.

I was born with a genetic flaw, I suppose.  I am incapable of hating people because of their race.  Neither can I understand cruelty or meanness nor why people hate other people.  There are things people do which I despise but the person I cannot hate.  So I don’t really understand anyone from this culture.  I do not understand Huckabee.  I am a man without a country, more or less.  So on that level many things he says and does doesn’t make much sense.

On another level, I’ve known many Southerners who were prejudiced, selfish, self-righteous, but not nearly so stupid as Huckabee sounds like sometimes.   I have known some whose views were so screwy and asinine that they became caricatures of Southern Fundamentalism but those guys were always fringe, not main-stream and certainly not on a national ticket.  Huckabee sounds like he just stepped from the back porch of his church onto the national stage.  It’s incredible that he’s where he is. And scary.

This is not going to sound very nice and I can’t help it but the truth is that Arkansas isn’t anything like the rest of the U.S.A..  Bill Clinton may have grown up in Arkansas but he at least has half a brain and plenty of Eastern connections and an education apart from what one gets pastoring Baptist churches in the South.  I am not only Southern by birth (Texas!), my relatives are ALL from Aw-kan-saw.  I do not claim them.  Most of my blood relatives live in the back woods of southwestern Arkansas and they STILL use the “N” word without any thought at all.  It is entirely understandable how Huckastupid made it to governorship of Arkansas.  It’s beyond incredible how he has made it to the national stage and how so many evangelicals vote for him so far.

Evangelicals come in many colors.  Though I very much disagree with their theology and cringe at their End-Times weirdness and ultra-conservative politics I still do not understand why they would surrender their country to someone so obviously out of touch and totally stupid as Huckabee.

Don’t get me wrong.  Huckabee has every right to believe what he believes.  He has every right to be prejudiced, hair-brained, religiously fundamental, all that.  If he were the pastor of the church down the road I would respect his person and his faith.  But the thought of him being President of this country literally scares the hell out of me.  Because he is on the national stage I am compelled to say something to prevent that from happening, however humble or under-circulated my words may be.

So what was it that brought on this tirade by yours truly? This headline: “Huckabee vows to send all illegal aliens home.” These words from the Washington Times represent one of the stupidest comments anybody could ever make. I understand that some knucklehead racists want a “white” America and that there is a totally misguided anti-immigration lobby saying the same stupid things but to make that pledge as a presidential candidate shows how totally out of touch Huckabumble is. Does he have the slightest idea what he is saying? Hello?

People from Mexico and points south make up a huge portion of the population of this country. There are BILLIONS of undocumented, illegal people here. What’s he gonna do, round them all up and bus them down past the river? Has anyone considered what a nightmare that would be? Just the act itself would completely destroy this country.

Those undocumented people are not prowling our streets, stealing and pillaging. If this was true it would be the worst place on earth to live. What they are doing is working incredibly low wages doing jobs many people (including myself) wouldn’t do for four times their wage, spending quite a bit of those wages within a community, paying income taxes they can’t claim, doing without health care, and generally being abused in a dozen different ways. I know the East Texas economy would collapse without them. It fractured rather badly last year when an INS scare caused employers to start requiring documentation. Several local industries almost went belly up.

No, it’s not fair to the economy nor the illegals but that’s the way it is. It’s not the country getting screwed by undocumented workers. It’s undocumented workers getting screwed by the country. The operative word is “work.” Of course there are gang bangers, thieves, crooks and drug runners crossing the border. But most, the vast majority, who seek out coyotes to get them across the line just want to earn a living. That is all.

Every bit of that aside, however, just consider the scenario Huckabee suggests. Let’s take a few minutes to reminisce about just what might happen if he became President and started the Great American Roundup.

First of all, such an act would require a Gestapo of such proportion that a fourth of the country (citizens, of course) would have to be in uniform. Every single neighborhood where Hispanics live would have to be raided. For the billions of undocumented there are also many billions more who ARE here legally or who are citizens by birth with parents who are not here legally. Every single Hispanic family would have to be screened. To do that there would have to be an expansion of federal power beyond anything ever deployed in Soviet Russia or China.

What of the families who are mixed, legal and illegal? Do we split all those families or add American citizens to the expulsion? Do we rip babies from mothers arms or do we retroactively change our national law to make every child born here an illegal? How far back do we go? What another huge can of worms that would open!

So now, we’ll say that somehow the Feds have managed to round up the billions who are truly undocumented. They put them in camps in every state with thousands in each camp. All of them must be fed something and must be given housing. Better call all the troops home and cut the whole Federal budget so detainees can be fed a few tortillas and some beans. Consider how shameful the episode when the U.S. detained a few thousand Japanese during WWII. Multiply that a hundred fold. That’s what we now have once we’ve completed our Huckabee roundup.

Next comes the actual deportation. Obviously the appellate system that deals with immigration has already crumbled. It was entirely overwhelmed. There is no longer any appeal, they all must go. Schools are dismissed all across the country. Buses are commandeered. Convoy after convoy leave the camps loaded with angry people, Mexican nationals, people from Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, and all other places. These days people get sent back to home countries directly but how, exactly, would the Huckabee expulsion do that? Sorting them all out would be almost impossible since none of them have papers and the logistics of such a move would be impossible. All buses head south.

There are a lot of Hispanic-looking middle-easterners here illegally too. (Heck, maybe a few “terrorists.”) They wouldn’t speak Spanish so they’d be doubly isolated. The buses headed south are filled with broken families and poor people, people who were so poor and hungry in their own country that they risked their lives entering the U.S. to find work. Guarding them is the Huckabee Gestapo, Brown Shirts with shotguns prepared to kill. It’s the only way such an operation would work. Most likely tanks or some kind of military machinery would be required to keep the convoy together. Towns like my own, Lufkin, would witness an incessant train of yellow school buses, military vehicles, armed federal agents, passing through from points north and east as far away as Chicago and New York, headed for the border.

By the time buses from Illinois or New York got here it’s a pretty good bet south bound deportation convoys would be backed up from Brownsville and Laredo up to San Antonio, Corpus, maybe even Houston. Why? Simple. Is there anyone, anywhere who believes the government of Mexico would allow all those people to come over the border? Dream on. The new President of the U.S. might be stupid enough to turn his country into a new Fascist State. It’s hard to believe the President of Mexico would let his country be the dumping ground for billions of unwanted people. Barriers and road blocks would go up along the Mexican border unlike anything the U.S. ever put up to keep illegals out. The Mexican Army would be deployed all along the border. Now what?

Now Huckabooboo has two options. Try to negotiate an impossible situation or simply use the military to clear the way. Negotiation would be impossible. Anybody with half a brain could see that. If Mexico was in such a bad way that hundreds of thousands of its citizens had to flea north every year what kind of horror would it be in for if billions all came back at once? Especially since many deportees were not even Mexican in the first place. Why should Mexico let them in? They shouldn’t. They wouldn’t. So force is the only answer.

Nervous commanders begin to lead convoys towards the river. Across the Rio Grande the Mexican army fires mortars and artillery at the bridges. Soon every crossing is strewn with rubble, bridges are gone. Battles between U.S. troops and Mexican soldiers start breaking out from the Gulf to the Pacific. All of a sudden the entire southern border of the U.S. becomes a war zone. Thousands of Americans are caught in the crossfire. The Rio Grande runs red. The Mexican-American war of the 21^st century is underway.

Meanwhile there’s the billions of displaced deportees with nothing to loose sitting in hot buses just behind American lines. In all the chaos guards are overwhelmed. Deportees run a muck. Men and women who would react civilly in a civil situation become very uncivil when their whole lives are disrupted. The deportees form into mobs after they break free. It would not be a pretty thing. They would be angry, hungry, and bent upon revenge. At the border the war might be fought somewhere close to military standards, aka, Geneva Convention. Not so with this mob. Non-Hispanic people would be torn from their homes, tortured, murdered, raped. This would happen not because the deportees were bad people but because mobs never have any conscience, direction or mercy. Mobs follow leaders who are the most cruel. There would be carnage all across my beloved state and all the way to California. The mother of all race wars now ravages the entire Southwest with mobs forming in places up north like Chicago, New York and anywhere else there are large Hispanic communities.

The billions from the buses would be joined by a few billion more true American citizens of Mexican or Hispanic descent. They did not vote for Huckabee. They never approved of his policies. All they ever wanted was a peaceful place to live and to be able to earn a living. They stayed out of the political arena. They cannot stand by when their friends and relatives are packed into buses and cursed by non-Hispanic neighbors. Once the race hatred erupts brown-skinned American citizens are no more safe than the deportees. Suddenly everybody is everybody else’s enemy.

My family, here on our little hill, are now in mortal danger. Half a mile from our home is a large Hispanic community. Should we run? Would it be possible? Should I just park the van across our long drive and hunker down? Soon the lights will be out, the water off, we’ll be hungry. What then? The horrific policies of the Huckabee Gestapo threatens my own family’s life. I’m not Hispanic, I’m as legal as one can be, but that no longer matters. We escape, abandon our home, become fugitives, or we stand, fight, and probably loose.

The American military is a pretty effective force. Most likely in a few weeks they’ll reach Mexico City. It’d be a bloody war but they’ll probably win. In a month or two the insane war ends. Mexico is in shambles. Its economy, not anything like ours when the madness began, is now pretty much gone. Marauding mobs continue to be rounded up by the powerful American military across the U.S. Soldiers are now policing all of the continental U.S. under the martial law decree Huckabee had no choice than to enact. Every state in the U.S. has suffered but none like the border states. California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas may never recover. Hundreds of thousands of American citizens and foreign nationals were killed or wounded in the Malay that broke out when the buses stopped rolling.

I have managed to keep my family alive but there’s not much left of our home. We escaped but our house was raided, burned, and destroyed. There is no electricity, no water, no gas. Burned shells of houses litter the landscape. Fires still smolder. The woodlands may still hide small bands of deportees. Many of my neighbors, some who are related, are now dead. They had guns. They fought. They died. Their homes, like ours, are gone. From Louisiana to the Pacific there’s nothing but destruction.

Race hate continues to boil. It’s fueled by horrific acts performed in the heat of war and civil unrest. Both sides are guilty. Nobody can forget how the horror movies they’d been watching suddenly became terrifyingly real. Blood and guts, torture and cruelty, these are the tools of civil unrest. These things happen in Africa or in the East. Not here. Not here… until now. My wife, my children and I clean up the land quietly, learning how to make do with very little. We bury the bodies we find on our little patch of ground. We live in the shack I build from what’s left of our home. My wife or I, or both of us, join in the cues of people trying to get meager rations from a haggard military outpost down the road given the responsibility of providing food for refugees. The America I once knew is gone forever.

Perhaps in the years to come the world will once again make sense. Maybe Mexico will rise from the ashes and become a good neighbor. Maybe it will become part of the United States. Or maybe the whole of the U.S. will disappear beneath a green, white and red flag and Spanish will be our official language. Who really believes Mexico will have to fight alone? All of Central and South America would be outraged at the war and American aggression. Some nations to the south don’t like us very much. Some have pretty darn good militaries and a whole lot of dough. Maybe Canada will have come in on our side… nah, probably not. Of course if the deportation started before the U.S. got out of Iraq and Afghanistan our forces would be spread so thin we might not be able to pull the war off. Or we abandon those fields of battle and loose the global war to militant Islam—a far worse fate than loosing to Mexico. At least Mexico is predominantly Catholic and doesn’t want all Christians dead.

Of course, on this little hill here in the shattered woods of East Texas all that stuff is far, far away. We who live here, in the new America, and especially in the militarized South West, must survive under martial law. There’s severe food shortages. The infrastructure will take years to repair. For the rest of our lives, shortened by all the insanity, my wife and I will be involved in a single-minded effort to protect our children, keep them alive, and help them find a way to survive this post-war world.

Like I said, Huckabee is stupid. There are few ideas floating around in this country more lame brained than the one that says we must “ship them all home.” It will never, ever be done. Even to try would mean an end to everything America ever stood for. But do we really believe Huckabee is all that stupid? No, not really. He is a politician. He is a dishonest politician who will sign pacts with whomever necessary to get himself a constituency. Nobody in their right mind would ever try to deport every “illegal alien.” At least nobody who understood the true situation and the true nature of man. One would hope Huckabee would have a handle on the national population and so forth. One would think Huckabee, having been a minister, would have an inkling about what the nature of mankind is, too. Either Huckabee is entirely stupid or he’s a little stupid and a big liar or he’s a lot stupid and a little bit of a liar. Either way, if he gets elected, God help us.

Does anybody expect him to get elected? No, of course not. The media is shoving him to the top hoping he will get the Republican nomination. Then they’ll crucify him in the general election and put who they want in office. Just consider how not too long ago immigration people were chastising Huckabee because he supported giving illegals aid in Arkansas and would not let the state police help with deportations. Like I said, a politician. He’ll sleep with the devil and then claim he was raped.

I tend to believe it’ll be Clinton with Obama taking the second seat. So why did I go to all this trouble to write this scenario? Because it proves how stupid politics has become in this country. And it shows how little thought politicians put in what they say and how little thought supporters put into what their politician says. We are all eat up with stupid. Gump’s mom was right, Stupid is as Stupid Does. One look at who sits in the White House today makes that pretty clear.

The crisis of immigration is only one of many crises we face. The insane war in Iraq is another. Huckabee is the one most likely to turn Iraq into a global conflict we cannot win. There’s a whole lot of other things he’s likely to do that would make me put my family on one of those buses headed south if he is elected.

My wife says I’m being ridiculous. I look stupid when I say, “vote for me.” Ha. It may be a little absurd for a nobody like me to run for national office without a dime in my pocket. But at least I know better than to say or promise the dumb things those other candidates come up with. I know war and confrontation never accomplished any good thing. I know hatred and anger never accomplished any good thing. I know working together, respecting each other, learning to cooperate and coordinate efforts, giving others the benefit of the doubt, these accomplish something. I know America is not good because of many things we’ve done but in spite of it. I know every hero can quickly become a villain in a different circumstance. If these are the kinds of thoughts you want your President to have, vote for me. I am going to.

I’ve known a few Huckabees in my lifetime. Them I could escape. They were not president. If you people don’t vote for me and you let that knucklehead get in office I’m out’a here! ¡Adios Muchachos!

And don’t be surprised when you hear me whisper from somewhere down south, “I told you so!”

VOTE FOR ME!

Today I watched as one of the greatest men ever to run for President in recent times stepped down from his campaign. My disappointment is deep and emotional. A lump rose in my throat and I felt like crying. Some men might not cry. I do.

For many years I’ve watched the country I’ve cared for very deeply since I was a very young boy continue to fall apart. The truth is that the best man has never won the presidency.  Most have had at least a few redeeming values but not since the era of reconstruction has the country suffered as much as it has under the current administration. I doubt anyone now running on either side, Democrat or Republican, will have the resolve, the wherewithal, or the determination to turn this nation around. Certainly nobody has the qualifications nor the platform of Bill Richardson.  There’s nobody I trust.

Mr. Richardson faced a media jugernaut that truly overwhelmed his every effort. Never forget, people, that the media is a consolidated voice for the corporate elite. They did not want Richardson to win. What did they do? They ignored him completely and pushed him out of the race.

Here are some very important words: “…when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce [mankind] …under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security.” Those words, from the Declaration of Independence, are as valid today as they were July 4, 1776.

I read these words to my children today as we began learning the history of this nation. Despots across a distant sea trampled on the liberties of colonists. Today despots in glass towers supported by despots in Washington, D.C. are once again trampling on the rights of the people, people who are the descendants in blood and spirit of those who faced death when they signed and supported the Declaration of Independence.

The Truths declared upon that day remain self-evident. We have the rights of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness–the ability to live a quality life and insure our families live healthy and in peace. It is not necessary that our government be replaced. What is necessary is that the individuals controling our government be replaced. We must throw out the scoundrels. The poor have suffered too long. The elderly have been abused and ignored too often. Children have been neglected too much. Nations around the world have suffered the wrath of an out-of-control military for too many years.  Our grievances are many.  We’ve been longsuffering.  It’s now time to bring it to an end.

When today’s candidates say they want change they mean the jingle in their pocket and nothing more. It is time for a revolution. I don’t mean a revolution of arms but a revolution of ideals. We don’t need a revolution of violence but a revolution of peace. I speak not of a revolution of division but a revolution of unity. It’s time Americans reclaimed America. It’s time to put a little man in the big job. It’s time time for this nation to stand up and live out the full meaning of its creed.

I am announcing my candidacy for President of the United States.  Vote for me.  Join with me.  Send a clear message that you’re fed up with the way things are.

In the days to come I shall publish my platform in detail. My administration will be an admistration of inclusion. My administration will be an administration of fairness and equal treatment under the law. My administration will be an administration of peace. My administration will be a triumph of good. Vote for me! It’s time the little guy had a true voice. It’s time we reclaim America for Americans!

It’s time friend!  Make the impossible possible.

Thank you and God Bless America!

H.J. Ted Gresham

January 10, 2008

Vote for Me!

It was very disappointing to see the best candidate step out of the race.  I’m quite sure Mr. Richardson had his reasons and was given plenty of political advice.  I still believe, though, that he had a much better chance, or could have, if his campaign had been handled differently.

But who am I to second guess?  I’m just a nobody living in a tin can in the East Texas woods.

Except, I’m not a nobody.  The Declaration of Independence says we’re all created equal.  It also says we have a right to affect our government.  It says if we can’t, if the government is no longer responsive to the people we have a right to change our government.  I ask you, do we as ordinary citizens have the ability to affect how our government does things?  The answer is no, we don’t.  For all  the wonderful talk about our freedom and how our vote counts we still keep listening to media bull and electing self-serving and/or incompetent people to national offices.  I, for one, am tired of the rhetoric.

There is no other candidate in either party I am prepared to support.  There’s nobody I trust to speak the truth, nobody I believe cares about the issues that are most important, nobody who understands what life is like down here on the bottom.

I have decided that there’s only one candidate I can trust.  That candidate is me.  The only “change” candidates in the race want is the kind that jingles in their pockets.  They are all part of the status quo and they will do nothing to rattle it.  I will.  I will stand up for the poor man, for children, for the elderly, for the uninsured and the unwanted.

Vote for me, H.J. Ted Gresham, independent candidate for President of the United States.  Join me.  Make your voice heard.  It’s time, friend, for this country to live up to its potential.  It’s time for a peaceful revolution at the balot box.  It’s time to toss out the regime and put in common men with common sense.  It’s time to Reclaim America!

Vote your conscience.  Vote for me.  Make the impossible possible!

Thank you very much!

H.J. Ted Gresham – January 10, 2008